Late night long blog post...

Hi guys,

It's currently 11:38pm in the UK as I am posting this but I just wanted to address something which is a daily struggle and talk to you about something which I am considering making a separate blog post on as I think it could benefit a lot of people out there.

As a blogger, you don't typically know a lot about me and who I am and what I get up to, but I am now going to let you know some stuff about me. I am a 16 year old sixth former who is currently studying 4 a-levels which are travel and tourism, health and social care and ICT double and single with the goal of possibly going to university to become a midwife. I work at a race track within the catering and hospitality part of the track and earn £6 an hour which is relatively good pay for a 16 year old as I should only get minimum wage (which stands at around £2-£3 per hour).

But what most of you guys do not know apart from the basics is that I am a long an ongoing sufferer of anxiety and panic attacks. I have had a panic attack tonight and I do feel stupid for having it, but I feel like I've put myself first and I have chosen the right choice for me. I was meant to be working tomorrow, however because where I work at a race track, it means that I am typically all over the place and I am all around the track. And tomorrow I was scheduled to work somewhere that I had NEVER worked before. Now my anxiety and panic attacks are typically triggered when I am around new surroundings and when I am with people who I do not know. This is because I am new to the surroundings and I don't know where everything is and my mind feels as though I am in a threatening place. So obviously tonight, I have been crying and having tiny anxiety attacks and about half an hour ago, I had a full on panic attack.

This panic attack led me to the choice of texting my boss and doing the typical excuse of 'I'm ill' (which I generally am, so technically I am not lying) but I decided to put myself first and I decided that I would rather not earn £60 and not have an anxiety and panic attack, instead of earning £60 and probably getting into work and crying my eyes out and having about 2-3 anxiety and panic attacks. And I know that I am probably missing out as i would've probably been fine and the day would've been a good laugh, however I decided to put my state of mental health first and 'chicken out' as some of you may say.

This does put me in a sticky situation as it does mean that I will only get £50-£60 next month as I did work at the start of May, however it then means that I need to do at least 2-3 shifts in June in order to earn enough money. I am currently saving for my first car and I need to be earning at least £100 a month. I currently have around £175 in my bank so that's not too bad. But obviously me cancelling tomorrow is going to have a big impact on next months money towards the car.

I guess I do feel stupid for cancelling work tomorrow, however at the time I needed to put my mental health first and at the time I know it was the right thing to do and that it was the right thing for my state of mind. And if anyone says that it was the wrong thing to do, then they can shove it where the sun don't shine because I know I've done the right thing for me.

Which brings me onto the purpose of this post. I think I want to make a blog which is dedicated towards anxiety and panic attacks just so that I can help those out there who think that they suffer with what I do and a place where I can document how my anxiety has been and a place where I can answer typical anxiety based questions. I will probably make it tomorrow and end up doing a post on there, but when I have made it, I will give you a link so you can all go and check it out.

This was a long blog post wow! This is probably my longest one to date. Quick teeth update, they are looking fab, looking super straight, I am back at the orthodontist in June to get my bottoms on. Photos will be up soon.

Bye guys

Dentist Disaster..

Hi guys,

So I had the dentist on Monday with my brother. I was having a filling and fissure sealant and my brother was having an extraction and fissure sealant. My brother went first and me and my mum were in the room while he was having it done. The whole process for me was quite full on and when my brothers extraction and fissure sealant was over it was my turn. I asked my dentist if I could quickly stand outside for a minute cause I felt really faint and like I was going to chuck up. I left the room and had a full on panic attack. Now for me to talk about this is making me really anxious, but I feel like I need to tell you this. I only ended up getting half of my fissure sealant done and I have had to reschedule my filling and my other half of my fissure sealant, which is on the 12th May.

I do feel really stupid for not getting it done while I was there, but when my anxiety takes over, I don't have any control over my actions and everything gets louder and the smells get stronger, and the room starts spinning and when you reach that point, trust me there is nothing you want to do apart from go home and curl up into a ball and sleep.

I was absolutely fine once I was home and I had calmed down. I got home and just had an hour in my room watching videos on YouTube and scrolling through pinterest and twitter. I hope that this doesn't happen next time I go in May (it shouldn't do) but I will make sure that I am prepared for this appointment and that I do everything to prevent this.

Sorry for this long ramble and long post, but I feel like if I get this off my chest and let you all know what happens, then I will feel better and you guys will understand more about me.

Bye guys

Broken Bracket, Dentist Appointment and Photos

Hi guys,

So as some of you know, I had a broken bracket. Its all fixed now. I am going to post a photo for you guys to see what it looks like. As you can see it had completely come off the tooth and was preventing my teeth from moving the way it should do. However, it is all sorted now and I am back on track.

I have a dentist appointment coming up on the 13th April at 11:15am which is going to be a killer after work on Sunday all day. The appointment is for my fisser sealant and for a hole which needs filling on one of my molars on my top jaw. I will let you know how that goes afterwards.

I hope you are all having a lovely Easter and even if you don't celebrate it, then I hope that you are having a lovely day or evening whatever you are doing!

Bye Guys

 



 

Oopsie Daisy...

Hi guys,

Um, we have a slight issue. I have a broken bracket. I think it was broken while the orthodontist was closing the gates on my braces because I heard a crack but I just thought it was the door on the bracket closing.

I have an emergency appointment to get it repaired this up-coming Monday at 2:35pm. This was the earliest appointment they could do so I am grateful that they have given me the closest appointment possible. The tooth which it has broken away from is moving slightly which is kind of annoying as I don't want it to move, but as soon as I can get my bracket fixed, I am sure it will move back into the right place.

I will let you know how the emergency appointment goes, and maybe take some photos to show you what a broken bracket looks like. I would do it now, however it is 9pm in the UK and the lighting would not do the picture justice.

Bye guys

Orthodontist News

Hi guys,

So I had my appointment at my orthodontist today. All good news, I am getting my lower braces on the 23rd June. I know that seems like ages away but I am sure it will come around fast. My orthodontist said that my teeth were looking good, my molars were slightly displaced but he put a thicker wire in which should move my molars to the right place. The thicker wire is really taking a toll on my teeth and the pressure is super bad. But apart from that, the braces are clean and doing what they are meant to be doing.

Because my next appointment is not for a while and I have a lot of deadlines to meet at sixth form and also an exam at the start of May, I will be a little non-existent at times. I will try to get some more photos and post some tags so that you guys have some content to look at. I do want to do the Braces Tag so be prepared to see that soon.

Bye guys!

Photos: Progress!

Hey guys,

Here are some progress photos from the past 153 days of having braces so far!




20th October 2014
 




1st December 2014

22nd March 2015

B ye guys!

I'm back!

Hey guys

I am back! Sorry for being so non existent but I am back! My teeth are fine. I am back at the orthodontist on the 24th March and then my next dentist appointment is in April, I believe the 13th. This is where they will seal the hole in my tooth and do my fisser sealant.

I might start doing more blogs such as tips and tricks and telling you what I have learnt so far from having braces. I also want to do the Braces Tag, so look out for a tag blog coming up soon for you guys. There will also be some photos coming up when I get some batteries for my camera. I have lost the working batteries which I had in it, so I am going to have to get some more ones. I have also broke the little dial on the top of my camera, so I need to get that fixed soon.

Anyway, that is all. I will make sure that I will get some tag blogs prepared for you guys, so that you do have some content from me.

Bye guys